Merry Christmas!

For the first time in 2 1/2 years I took the day off and ate anything and everything.  I fear that I ate a whole weeks worth of calories in one day.  I can’t wait to try out a couple gifts tomorrow when I run.  To see my wonderful Christmas go visit my family blog http://www.myreasontosmile.blogspot.com .

The Best Gift

Keeping myself healthy and strong is the best gift I can give myself.  When I am physically strong I am able to be spiritually strong.  When I am spiritually strong am I can serve others better. I have been “cheating” A LOT but I am also exercising and toning and trying to enjoy this holiday season unlike the last couple of years when I wouldn’t allow myself to eat anything “bad”. I pray that you will have a very blessed Christmas season and enjoy all that this season holds.  For me this has included making with my children  dozens of gingerbread men,  cupcakes, fudge, caramels as well as a neighborhood cookie exchange.  Why such a huge change for last year?  I now trust myself that I won’t go back to the 390 pound body that I had before.  Now I guess that is really the best gift ever!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

Letter of Love

Dear Becky,

I am so proud of you and how much you have accomplished in the last 2 1/2 years.  I never would have believed that you were the same person if I was to pass you on the street.  You carry your self with such confidence that I know you are comfortable with who you are.  Your eyes are full of experiences that I hope you’ll share with others.  Many need your help and you need to be open and willing to share.

I am worried that you are too hard on yourself.  You have accomplished what seemed like an impossibility.  On your own, truly of your own will you have made this miraculous change. I always knew you were capable of anything and you have done it.  Feel happy with where you are.  Don’t freak out over small changes.  Allow yourself some enjoyment.  Cheat every once in a while and have fun!

You are incredible woman and you have opened up a whole new world for yourself.  Please believe this and never forget what you have done.  Of course there is regular maintenance that seems much more difficult than the journey has been, but you are strong and you will be just fine.  There will be hard days but don’t beat yourself up about it.  Pick yourself up and begin again!  You know what to do and you will win in the end!

I love you so much and want you to be happy.  I love to see the light shining in your eyes.  I want to see that light more often.  Be good to yourself and know you are amazing!  You have accomplished remarkable things! 

Love,

Becky

(Now to get myself to truly believe all that I’ve written here.  I’m working on it! It’s a daily battle but I know I can do this!)

Rough Day

The day started well with a great toning class at 5:15am but then real life hit and I was a mess with my eating.  I can do really well for a few days then I slide.  I am really looking forward to seeing the ladies tomorrow at our support group and sharing ideas.  I am also totally bloated for some reason.  (It may be hormonal.  My body timing is all over the place so that is always a possibility.) I may try going off of whole wheat for a little while and see if that makes a difference.  I self sabotaged all day.  AGGHHHHH!  I can overcome this.  Tomorrow I will do better!!!  Thank goodness for repentance and new beginnings. I hate the fact that food is my greatest temptation in this life!

I just reread this and I am all over the place but that is how I feel right now.  I think I'll hit the elliptical before bed then get up ready for bootcamp, kickboxing then support group. Tomorrow is going to be a better day!

It’s Good to be Back on Track!

Amazing the difference a week makes! So last week I decided enough was enough and I started eating a little better.  By Friday I was tracking every calorie again and it feels so good.  My body feels happy and has bounced back to its old self so quickly. The scale has responded very nicely too!  I’m not sure how this is possible but I have lost 7 pounds this week. Really? Well, I took a picture of the scale for proof.  Now we’ll see if it stays down tomorrow too.  My big motivation is being a good example for the ladies in my support group.  I want all of us to succeed and I can’t wait to know how every ones week is going. I even wore my skinny dress to church yesterday.  I am so thankful for new beginnings and small miracles!

What is amazing is how much my body has changed.  I have gained so much muscle that I can still fit into this dress 10 pounds heavier than when I fit into it last year. Thank goodness for bootcamp!!! Dan says I don’t need to lose anymore weight but I’d like to see 185 again.  We’ll see how I feel after another couple weeks of really watching my eating.  I am feeling the excitement and the adrenaline rush of losing weight again and I love it!!!!

Support Group

I am being really selfish and have volunteered to head up a Healthy Living/Weight Loss/Weight Maintenance Support Group.  Why is this selfish?  I NEED it just as much or even more than the ladies that will be attending.  I have fallen back into my old eating habits.  Thank goodness for 5am boot camp and toning or I would really have added on a lot of pounds.  I want to feel like I am in control of my eating again and not that the eating is controlling me.  I have a food addiction and for a year it was under control.  I need that control again!!!  I need my Heavenly Father's help and the support of others to do this.  I can do this because I have done hard things.  It won't be easy and it will hurt but it is worth it!!!

Support Group details: Friday 10:30ish in the RS room of the Cedar Trails Building

I have added a new tab at the top of the blog page "SUPPORT GROUP" to place all of the handouts, information and  HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS.  Good Luck and I'll see you next week!