My New Toy

A wonderful neighbor was selling her second trail-a-bike and offered it to me for a great price.  Jaimee (almost 5 yrs old) and I have been on a couple small rides but as soon as the weather warms up we plan on some serious bike rides!

Real Life: Being a Mom

I usually leave my personal stuff, not weight and health related stuff,  for my family blog over at www.myreasontosmile.blogspot.com, but this is our very first broken bone.  Life is not all about eating right and exercise.  My most important callings in this life are that of wife and mother.  This is real life putting exercise on the back burner so I can take care of my son! What an experience. So I’ve decided to post it on both blogs. 

The First Broken Bone VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Watch the slide show to see how this adventure played out.  Brandon was the photographer of the pictures of the girls and I playing basketball.  This all happened in 5 min after dinner.  Brandon had been working hard to really master the rip stick all evening and in just a couple minutes down he went. We went outside about 6:50pm and we were headed to the Insta Care at 7:05pm then sent right from there to Riverton Hospital.  The hospital staff and the doctors and surgeon were AMAZING!!! We finally arrived back home around 12:30am and Brandon was in bed asleep by 1am.  At the insta care his fingers were blue because his main artery in his hand was being pinched by the break and the artery was spasaming.  Very scary!!!  The nurse sent us directly on to the hospital since his break was too bad and complex and would require a surgeon to set it. He had been given a priesthood blessing by his Dad and Bishop Dalton before leaving for the hospital and that brought us a lot of comfort.  Brandon is one very special and very BRAVE boy.  We love him so much and I look forward to really serving him a lot during the next 8 weeks as his arm heals.

Note: This is his right arm and he won’t be completely healed until May 11th or so.  I guess I’ll be his scribe for a while until he can do it on his own.

Some of my thoughts the the late night of and morning after as posted on facebook: 

Finally home from the hospital and Brandon is tucked into bed. I never want to repeat this evening again!!! It is going to be a long 8 weeks until his arm is healed. All of the pictures from our adventure are on www.myreasontosmile.blogspot.com Wow it is a BAD break!!! The orthopedic surgeon and ER Doctors and all of the nurses were amazing!!! Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers.

 

Yes both bones broken. The one is a light shadow at a 45 degree angle. Where the other is completely under the other by an inch. It was a horrible experience seeing him in so much pain. The worst part was his reaction to the anesthesia. He is a thrasher. It took 2 doctors and 2 nurses to hold him down until his body relaxed. I had to just close my eyes and pray. I have never been so thankful for skilled doctors and nurses. I hope when he wakes up this morning that we can control his pain. Nothing worse for a mother than to see your child in pain!

Before

After

Doctor Brady, the orthopedic surgeon was AMAZING!!!!

 

Before

His broken arm with the orthopedic surgeons hand holding it. OUCH!!!

After

One very talented orthopedic surgeon man handled his bad break and got it perfectly back in place!

Much better with a strawberry shake from In N Out!

 

A very heartfelt thank you to my next door neighbor and best friend Stace Dalton and her family for first splinting Brandon’s arm to make his trip to the hospital more comfortable, the Bishop for assisting in a priesthood blessing and then taking in my other kids and spoiling them while we were at the hospital.  Thank you also to Anna (my little sister) for coming over to put the kids to bed.  It wasn’t an easy task and I appreciate her waiting at the house till we got home after midnight, close to 1am. 

We are blessed with so many earthy angels.  Thank you to everyone who prayed, we could feel your love and the love of our Heavenly Father.

New Recipe- Gluten Free -Dark Chocolate Cupcakes–Recipe Created by Becky

Makes 30 cupcakes

4 cups regular oats ground in spice grinder or blender

1 1/2 cups cocoa

1/2 tsp salt

3 tsp baking soda

3 tsp baking powder

2 cups splenda or other sugar substitute (I used stevia powder)

2 cups hot water

2- 6oz Carbmaster vanilla yogurt (60 cal each)

3 tbsp white vinegar

50 calories each cupcake

(You can sprinkle 1/4 cup of chocolate chips to the top of the cupcakes 2/3rds  through baking time but then the calories jump up to 60 calories each.) 

Directions: Mix all dry ingredients then add to wet ingredients.  Fill cupcake papers half full and bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.  This shorter cooking time makes for a moist cupcake. May add choc chips to the top of the cupcakes at 10 min if desired.

Note: I didn't have any chocolate chips so I chopped up a mint chocolate truffle and sprinkled it on top.  It was 300 calories and I split it up between the 30 cupcakes. 

A New Snack/Lunch Item

This is so delicious and very low calories. 

• One low sodium rice cake (30 cal)
• 1/2 triangle laughing cow cheese (17.5 cal)
• a few spinach leaves (2 cal ?)
• 1 slice ham (10 cal)

Total calories : Less than 60 calories

Moving Forward With Faith

What a difference a few days can make.  My heart and mind are at peace.  Yesterday was fast Sunday.  I love fast Sunday because I feel such a great power in fasting and prayer.  I know that miracles can happen through fasting! I have really been struggling with finding balance in my life lately.  There has been a lot of stress lately.  Nothing major but lots of little things.  Lots of sickness with the kids and some of it very worrisome.  I haven’t felt good either, very tired and on the verge of depression.  I had fallen back into the mindset of people pleasing rather than doing things from my heart.  I hope that makes sense.  Anyway, I have been fasting, praying and attending the Temple trying to figure out what I needed to do to get back to my old self again.  I also asked Dan for a Priesthood Blessing.  I have felt the love of my Heavenly Father so strongly over these last couple of weeks as I have really struggled though some dark times.  Yesterday night very late as I cried my heart out in bed to my sweet, patient husband the answer came so clearly to me.

I know myself better than anyone else.  I know how to get back on track.  I have done this before.  I need to once again take charge and do what I know.  Now I also know that I need to put my Heavenly Father and Savior first so I’ve come up with a plan to make this all work.  I am so excited for this change and so far so good today, day 1. 

My routine for the last 5 months was get up at 4:45am and get to boot camp or toning class by 5:15 am,  arrive home around 6:25am.  Make breakfast for the family, eat with the family because I feel famished, get the kids off to school after family prayer,  get cleaned up for the day, then snack because I’m tired and hungry still then tackle the day. Eat a good healthy lunch but by 2pm I am exhausted and falling asleep on the couch as the kids get home from school.  Snack to stay awake. By 4 pm I start carpooling kids to band and dance and hope not to fall asleep while driving.  I again snack to stay awake.  I make dinner and eat my portion and more while cooking because I still feel famished.  Homework, chores and tv time comes in there somewhere as well as Cub Scouts and YM.  Scriptures and family prayers around 8pm and the girls to bed there after.  The older kids are in bed by 9:30pm but I still need some me time so I stay up till 10:30 pm but I’m too tired to exercise at all so I attempt a few pushups and crunches while watching tv then crawl into bed by 11pm just to begin my day again after less than 6 hours of sleep.

This was not working for me or the family!  After 5 months my body, heart and spirit were crying for help. Sadly, I love the workout classes but the schedule just wasn’t working.  I have done things that I never thought my body could possibly do.  I love the instructor MaryAnne. She was my angel that has kept me moving through the winter when I needed someone else to push me. I also love the people in the class that I workout with and I will miss them dearly.  BUT I had to change this downward cycle I was in.

My new routine as of today:

6:30am wake up

6:30-6:45am personal devotional time with prayer and scriptures or Ensign

6:45am make breakfast

7am wake the kids that are still asleep and send Dan off to work after family prayer, kids eat breakfast and get ready

7:45am take the kids to school or hurry them out the door if the weather is good

8-9:30am change into workout clothes and enjoy the exercise room while Jaimee watches PBS.

9:30am get cleaned up and get ready for the day

10am make my smoothie

The day is mine for the taking!

The plan is to get an hour workout in before bed then in bed by 11pm.

 

I feel at peace.  I feel like this is what I need and my family needs for me to do.  I was being very selfish going to my early morning classes because I love the atmosphere and it was easier to have some else pushing me.  I had something else to blame for me not losing the weight and eating right.  I was making excuses.  I wasn't living my best life and I wasn’t being true to myself and others.  So today is a new beginning and I am so happy for fresh starts!

I have also made a new goal.  Last year I had in my mind to get back to 190 pounds. Before I had my gall bladder surgery February 2011, I was successfully maintaining below 190lbs. My goal is to hit 190 pounds by my birthday, May 26th, and keep it off trough the whole year and forever.  I know I can do this.  It won’t be easy but I have done it before!  Thank you for everyone who reads my blog and especially those of you that leave your comments.  I have a food addiction.  It is hard to explain the desire I have for food but this trial was taken away from me once as I did my part and lived worthy of the blessing and I know it will be taken from me again as I exercise my faith and do my part again. 

My Savior is with me in this picture because I know that I can do this only with His help!  He is my strength!

The scale has dropped 2 pounds  already.  It’s amazing what letting go of stress and finding peace can do for your body and spirit.

 

A real smile of happiness and peace as I look toward the future with great hope and no more fear!!!

Why FEAR?

I have been fearful of the scale.  It sounds so silly but this fear has been very real.  I haven’t felt right lately.  I’ve been in a bad funk.  I’ve been going through all the motions and putting on my smiling face but something has just been off.  I haven’t felt like myself.  I don’t like living in fear.  I have become all about my weight and that is a part of me but not all of me.  I have felt a huge pressure to be “thin” for everyone else.  I feel like a failure when I struggle daily with eating. My jeans are getting too tight and my shirts aren't fitting anymore. I put so much pressure on myself to look right for the world that I’ve started “hating” eating right and exercising and fearing the scale that I used to embrace.
FEAR does not come from our Heavenly Father.  He wants us to have FAITH and overcome our fears.  I have been praying and pondering a lot what I need to do to get rid of this fear and wondering why I have had this fear.  I have come up with a few ideas.  I love to share my story with others but then I think I am just me, a SAHM with 5 kids barely keeping my head above water, how can I help anyone else? The doubt and the fear sneaks in.  I desperately want to write a book but I fear that no one will want to read it because who am I? I am a no one, right?!  No wrong, I am just as important as everyone else.  I have been putting myself down and making my accomplishment so small when really they are spectacular.  I am Amazing.  I am someone.  I matter!   I have forgotten all of these things and become a bit of a martyr lately.  I need to let my light shine and not be afraid.
I faced my fear this morning.  The dreaded scale was not nearly as scary as I thought it would be.

 

In order to change you have to have knowledge and you then take that knowledge and move forward with it.  I now have a starting point to begin with.  With how tight my jeans and shirts had become I had FEARED that the scale would read 215 or more.  I am not too far from my NEVER WEIGH AGAIN number of 200.  I have not failed because I am still TRYING.

  I CAN DO THIS HARD THING.

  I won’t be a part of the majority of people who lose weight then regain it all.

In searching for inspiration to face this FEAR I found some amazing quotes out on the web.  Here are a few of my favorites.  This first one really spoke to my heart and brought me to tears.

 

Some other quotes that I feel fit my situation are:

I’ve got some work to do!

These pictures aren’t horrible (other than the fact that they are blurry) but I want them to be better than this.  The last 2 weeks my life has been stress, stress, stress!!!  I am feeling bloated and chubby.  I still haven’t gotten on the scale and I’m determined to eat better this week.  Hopefully some of the stress and craziness will calm down so that my body and mind can focus on health again.  Sadly this is the cycle of daily life.  I am determined not to let my body go and to continue to do what I can to stay healthy.  I did boot-camp class at 5:15am and now my goal is to do a light 5k run without changing speed on the treadmill unless I increase the speed.  I haven’t run much with life being so crazy.  I’ll report back as to how it goes.  Don’t ever give up on your self no matter what!!!

UPDATE: I did it!  I started out the treadmill at 5 miles per hour (12 min/mile) then at 1/4 mile went up to 5.5 miles per hour (10.9 min/mile).  At 2 miles I bumped it up to 6 miles per hour (10 min/mile) then at 2.8 bumped it up to 6.5 miles per hour (9.2 m in/mile) and then at 3.1 miles I took the last tenth of a mile up to 7 miles per hour (8.5 min/mile). Not fast but great for not running for so long. I did a cool down at 4 miles/hour for the last .8 miles to get my heart rate down. Then some stretching.  I wanted to quit so many times but I wrote my goal down here for all of you to see so I wasn’t going to fail. 

I can do hard things!!!

 Here I am after the run.  2 sweat sessions so far today.  I’ll probably make it 3 by working out tonight while watching TV.  Have a fabulous day and remember YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!