I just might be crazy but…

Date

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Start

Silver Fork Lodge

End

Cottonwood Corporate Center

Description

The Big Cottonwood Half Marathon is the fastest and most beautiful running event in Utah. It starts in front of Silver Lodge in Big Cottonwood Canyon. For the first 11 miles you will enjoy the beauty and solitude of the canyon in the fall. The grade down Big Cottonwood Canyon is perfect to help you acheive your best race time ever.

Upon exiting the canyon, you will continue following the river on the Big Cottonwood Trail to the Cottonwood Corporate Center in Cottonwood Heights to the finish line.

The half marathon course is USATF certified with number UT12016GAN.

Why can’t I see the Becky everyone else sees? The rest of the story…

Okay so I did take back the jeans but the unexpected ended up happening.

I decided rather than just return them that I would try pretty much every style on in the store and various sizes.  What I found was that I have big calves and thighs.  I already knew that but I can’t stand it if my knees feel restricted.  Many of the 15 pairs were simply too tight in the leg to go any further.  I was a bit disappointed that I couldn’t find anything I really liked.  Even the $100 jeans didn’t fit my very curvy shape. Before giving up I grabbed a pair a size up of this years version of my favorite jeans.

I put them on and hmmm, they were a tad lose.  Wow, back I went to the shelf and grabbed the same exact size as I have been wearing, you know the same size that bruised my hips because they were too tight.  I felt crazy even trying them on but shockingly they fit!!!  How could this be?  I wasn’t really bigger than last year? 

I told the sales lady of my adventure with the jeans and she said that you ALWAYS have to try on every pair of jeans because of the way they are cut out.  Tons of pairs are cut out at the same time and of course the material is stacked on top of each other and the size varies a little.  It is hard to believe they can vary so much or possibly I was totally bloated or something.  Any way I did get one new pair.  Last years still have some good wear still left in them.  I sit here wearing my new jeans and feeling great.  I feel so great that I had to take a ton of pictures to remind myself how great new clothes make you feel.  The numbers on the scale are still 6 pounds over my “drop dead,  never pass” weight but I keep trying. A new pair of jeans in a size I will only see in this exact pair of jeans at this store can really help you feel good, no great, no FANTASTIC!!!

I look at these pictures and can’t believe they are me.  I don’t feel that I look like this.  I see a much larger woman in the mirror.  It must just be great camera angles right!? How can a woman a tad bit over 200 pounds look like that? My mind is having a hard time with that! I know I run, bike, yoga, do push ups and  more stomach crunches than anyone should but

 why can’t I just see the Becky everyone else sees?

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you love to see a smaller size on your jeans then you have to shop at Maurice’s.  I love their regular Maurice’s $29.00 jeans. They are sized big so you get to see a number that you never would dream of fitting into. 

Little Reminders

Nothing quite like a too tight pair of jeans to remind you that you aren’t as small as you were a year ago when you bought the exact same pair of jeans. OUCH!  I did squish, squirm and lay on the bed to get them done up but boy I’m not too sure that I can wear them too long before I bruise or worse split the seams. Now the decision, keep the jeans or return them and buy a larger size?

What would you do? I worry that if I buy the larger size that I won’t work to fit back into these.  HMMMM, what to do, what to do?

Healthy Summer Foods

 

My Lunch today. DELICIOUS!!!

Salads are a great summer meal.

This salad is :

mixed salad greens

strawberries

plain pulled pork

purple onion

tomato

low fat raspberry vingarette

A nice breakfast – snack – dessert

Strawberries (frozen or fresh) with Carbmaster (60cal) Vanilla Yogurt

A delicious lunch:

tortilla chips (watch your quantity)

2 sliced tomatoes

salsa

original Boca burger w/ lite swiss cheese melted on top

 

For dessert:

Baked Apples

apples cored

mix applesauce, cinnamon, oatmeal and a tiny bit of honey or agave

Bake 375 degrees for 25 min.

Dessert:

Pudding Tart

Healthy graham cracker crust with fat-free/sugar-free vanilla pudding and a strawberry slice.

Strawberry ice cream.

Mix with a blender or food processor blend together:

Frozen strawberries

Carbmaster yogurt of your choice

and milk to the consistency you prefer.

Starting the Week Right!

4 1/2 miles this morning! 4 miles running, 1/2 mile walking. 

Great conversation, body felt strong, my mind is clear.

I am ready to tackle my day and busy week.

No matter what else I accomplish today, I RAN!!!

I feel AMAZING today!

Finally the run didn’t feel hard and labored!

I have been waiting to feel this way.

I AM HAPPY!!!

Even though: the clothes are tight and

the scale is higher than I like,

I am strong and healthy and I feel great!!!

Love and Stuff

Love is that “thing” that makes the world go around.

I would be nothing without love.

I am blessed to be surrounded by MANY people who love me.

I know that I am loved by my Heavenly Father and Savior.

I love my husband more than words can express.

I love my children so much that my heart often aches from their disappointments and hurts.

I am blessed to have been raised in a family full of love.

I love having fun with my kids.

I love getting lost in serving others.

I love trying new things that used to be impossible to do.

In order for me to fully and freely love others I must love myself first.

I will love myself with my flaws and all.

I am still learning to love my new body and the challenges living healthy brings.

Most of all I am so thankful to have a life full of love!!!

 

 

The STUFF

• I ate perfectly yesterday and so far so good today! Yeah me!!!
• I am doing double workouts again. Morning and night.
• I am scared to get on the scale right now but maybe on Monday morning.
• I am liking more the body I see in the mirror.
• My hamstrings are so tight that it hurt to run today.  I hope they loosen up by my run Friday.
• I had a killer workout this morning.  2 miles running, 2 miles walking then 11 mile bike ride. Yeah me!!!
• I am learning to celebrate my accomplishments.  I have been so hard on myself for gaining back some weight that I haven’t been giving myself credit for the tough stuff I do everyday.
• Food is my addiction and I will conquer it.
• I am so thankful to have this journey to share with others.  I am once again fired up with a desire to share my story and help other women find the healthy self inside of them.

Finding Happiness Today

I am finding that I am so hard on myself.  I know that I am healthy and even an athlete.  BUT, I am not as small as I would like.  If the camera catches a good angle I love the picture but if it isn’t just right I hate it. My clothes are tight and I don’t want to buy larger clothes.  I want to be the size 8/10 not the 10/12!  I know that sounds crazy especially from a woman who used to wear a 30/32 or 4x or size 8 jeans at Lane Bryant. At one point nothing at Lane Bryant would fit.  Anyway, I need to find happiness in today so that is my goal.  Eat in moderation, exercise 5 days a week and find joy every day in what I can do now that used to be difficult.  Most importantly STOP comparing myself with others.  My thighs will never be that small or my hips or my……

 

As we were out in the mountains at a cabin the last week with Dan’s family I actually stopped and thought about all of the things I do now that I wouldn’t have even tried 3 years ago. We had a planking contest.  Funny thing to do but anyway I went for 2 min and could have gone longer but Judy had already quit so I was happy at 2 min.  WOW, 2 min planking not hard!!!  How can I not feel good about myself?! We went on a 2 mile hike that climbed 850 ft in a mile.  It was easy for me. We went on lots of 4 wheeler rides and I took the girls with me both in front on the seat and in back.  I NEVER would have even gotten on a 4 wheeler at 400 lbs.  Now I ride with confidence and just have fun.  I don’t worry about sitting on any of the chairs or what bed to sleep on.  I love the freedom a healthy body provides.  I am free from the worry, free from restrictions, free to do whatever I want. 

Official Race Photos