I’ve Been Trying to Ignore this Blog…

but I just need to be honest with myself and really the world and own up.  I totally ate a ton  of chocolate and other assorted candy, cake, frosting and other “bad” stuff the past week.  I did it consciously and now I’m paying for it.  My body is so totally confused and is retaining water and having tummy aches like crazy.  I know better.  I believe that when we KNOW BETTER we are responsible to DO BETTER.  I have not been doing better.  I will eat right till around 4pm and then eat, eat, eat.  It is amazing how quickly you can eat 2000 calories!  AGGHHHH!

So that is my confession.  The scale hit an all time high of 199 on Monday and that scared me but not enough to totally be back on track.  I have been stressed out and very busy with Birthday parties, Easter and the Pinewood Derby that I’m in charge of happening today!  Not to mention 2 derby cars to make sure are ready to go.  Being Cub Master is A LOT of work, especially around derby time.  I know I need to delegate more but I have a hard time letting go of things.  So needless to say I haven’t had much sleep either and stress is leading me back to food again. 

May 1st I begin all over.  I know I should just say today but I need a few days to reverse what I’ve done.  I am sitting here with a big very green smoothie and I did run 4.25 miles in 44 min this morning so that is progress.  I wish the food didn’t play such a big role in weight gain/loss.  I love exercise and could do it all day but if I eat anything wrong the pounds jump right up no matter what exercise I am doing.  Oh well, thanks for reading and being my listening ear.  I am just a normal person who is struggling to keep balance. Hopefully I’ll find it again really soon.

Off to spray paint 18 wooden ribbons because last minute I’ve decided I want something more to give the boys at the Derby race.  Yep, I’m CRAZY!!!

I Needed a Picture Today…..

 

 

I often get caught up in the number on the scale and don’t SEE myself for what I’ve accomplished and where I am at NOW.  I am given a compliment and I respond back,” We’ll I’ve gained 10-15 pounds (which no one except me seems to see). rather than “Thank-you.” I am frustrated that my body seems to be storing every drop of fat and sugar that enters into my mouth rather than it being worked off.  My only saving grace is the ability to get outside a little more and ride my bike in addition to running and the elliptical and toning.  For the amount I exercise I should be able to eat up to 3000 cal and not gain but that isn’t the case.  I know I am gaining some muscle but maybe 1-2 pounds not 10!!!  For an example yesterday I ran 3.6 miles with my running partners Daina and Kim, then rode the bike (with a bike trailer and child in tow) to the school and back, rode the bike to drop Jaimee off at playgroup, and then did a 8 mile ride pulling my niece, back to playgroup on the bike then back to school to get Laura and rode to a couple parks then home.  I’m tired now just writing about it.  That was a total of 12 miles on the bike.  Then before bed after Cub Scout meeting I did 1 hour toning while watching a movie with my hubby.  I love the exercise but I just don’t dare let up on it in fear that more weight will come back.  I just pray the weather gets warmer so I don’t need a coat when riding.  The pictures are to remind me of how far I’ve come and the scale doesn’t tell the whole story.

I’m not the same the same woman I was 3 years ago!!!

Dinner Idea

We love a good corn tortilla casserole.  It usually has a good amount of ground beef, cheese, olives and corn in it.  I remade the recipe so that I would fill good eating it.

Corn Tortilla Casserole

Mix all of the following ingredients together in a pan and heat till cheese melts:

1 1/2 cups cooked rice

1 cup reduced fat cheddar cheese

1 can black beans

1 cooked shredded chicken breast

2 cans diced tomatoes

1 tsp cumin (to taste)

2 tbsp taco seasoning (to taste)

In the bottom of a large casserole dish or 9x13 pan pour in 1 8oz can of tomato sauce. Next lay down a layer of corn tortillas.  Follow that with 2 cups of spinach and a layer of sauce.  I did 3 layers for a total of 9 (6 inch) corn tortillas and two layers of spinach ending with a layer of the sauce mixture and 1/4 cup cheese sprinkled on top.  I baked in a 425 degrees oven for 25 minutes.  It will serve 8-10. Everyone in the family ate it except my 3 year old.

Full list of ingredients:

9 6inch corn tortillas

1 1/4 cup reduced fat cheddar cheese divided

1 can tomato sauce

4 cups fresh spinach

1 1/2 cups cooked rice

1 15oz can black beans

1 cooked shredded chicken breast

2 15 oz cans diced tomatoes

1 tsp cumin (to taste)

2 tbsp taco seasoning (to taste)

325 calories if serving 10 or 415 if serving 8.

Starting Over

I’ve decided that today is the day to get back on track.  Really back on track not just kind of but for real this time.  Ever since my surgery back in February I have been struggling with my eating habits.  I am still exercising like I always have but I have slipped some in my eating.  I am baking a lot more and even though I use good ingredients and the recipes are much healthier they are still extra calories that I wouldn’t have touched a year ago. I am making a change today!  I ran 5 miles on Saturday and 3 1/2 this morning (even in the rain)! I feel good but my goal is 180 by my birthday and that is just 40 days away and 13 pounds.  I know I can do it but it will take A LOT of discipline.  I used to be very strict in my eating and I can do it again.  It won’t be easy but it will be worth it for my clothes to fit loosely again. I have asked my husband and family for support in this and I know with their help I can do it.

Tonight for Family Home Evening we are going to make a Family Fitness Goal.  We all could be healthier.  I am hoping for a goal of 1000 miles between the 7 of us and then we’ll go on a week vacation or buy something the family decides on.  I am no longer going to cook differently for myself so we will all eat the same.  It will be a good change and something I have gotten away from.  I am excited to do this as a family!!!!

BTW

I got a letter from the underwriter at the Life Insurance Company and I now have Life Insurance.  YEAH!!!!

I stole this from another blog…

but it is just what I needed today so I figured I’d post it here just in case anyone else out there needed it too.

Dear friend,

I just wanted you to know that I see how much you’ve been struggling lately. I know things have been difficult, but I wanted to remind you of a few things…

One, you’re awesome.

Two, this path you’re on, it’s rough-and-tumble stuff. One day you feel like you’re on top of the mountain, the next you’re rolling back down in a out-of-control somersault. And we both know that the climb back isn’t so much treacherous as it is tiresome. Some days we just get so darn weary with it all…

That said, look at how far you’ve come. You may think it’s nothing to celebrate, what you’ve achieved thus far, but I say every step… every freakin’ step… is worthy of being celebrated.

Three, falling isn’t failing. You’ll have bad days here and there; we all have setbacks that shake our confidence and exhaust our resolve, but I’m convinced that you’re convinced that you know what to do now, and more importantly, what’s at stake. Going back to the way things were simply isn’t an option.

Four, it’s all worth it in the end. I know you question whether that’s true or not, but I promise you that it is. It may seem so far away right now, but every step forward brings you closer to where you want to be.

This is a long journey we’re on; don’t be afraid to lean on your friends from time to time.

And lastly, have I told you lately that you’re awesome?

Take care of yourself.

Spring Break 2011

Dan took off work Mon-Wed so after Church and Priesthood responsibilities on Sunday we headed to a beautiful condo at Wolf Creek. We had a wonderful time spending nearly 4 days together as family.  We played and played and played some more!!!  We made some wonderful memories and saw some fun sights on the way home.

 

 

 

We spent a lot of time being active and it was so amazing to feel free running around chasing the tennis ball and working out with my boys on the equipment.  Dan and I  even escaped for an hour after kids were in bed to sit in the hot tub and the sauna together.  It was a great little vacation!

Not Much Change

I ran 3 1/2 miles Mon, Wed and Fri and it felt great to be outside.  I did several bike rides as well as some elliptical and toning each night. The problem is I haven’t really changed my eating.  I am watching portions but enjoying everything rather than cutting out chocolate, sugar, chips, crackers, cheese, etc.… So I have to decide if I like the weight I am or do I really want to lose 10-15 pounds?  I fit my clothes but they are a little snug.  I hope once the weather turns warmer my eating will naturally slow because I won’t be inside all day.  I was so sad to have snow on the ground yesterday and still some today.  We didn’t run today because of ice.  I like feeling normal, like I can eat anything in moderation.  I just worry about falling back into old habits.  I lost 1 1/2 pounds this week so that’s okay but not what I hoped for but I need to eat less to lose more.

One of My Favorite Weekends of the Year

I love General Conference weekend.  It is always the first weekend of April and October.  As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (The Mormons) this is our opportunity to hear from our Prophet, President Thomas S. Monson and the Apostles and other General Authorities.  Their messages are always so inspiring and help me become a better person.  I am uplifted and have a desire to be the best mother and wife that I can possibly be.  I go away feeling good about what I am doing but also making new goals for the future.  These meetings are televised and we watch all 4 sessions of Conference as a family.  I love bring cozied up on the couch for 2 days being inspired and uplifted with my family.  Of course there are fun coloring pages and bingo games, treats and yummy food involved.  My kids know that this is what we do and they love it to.  Michael is off to a Youth Breakfast with the Bishop right now to encourage the youth to watch all sessions of Conference.  I think that is wonderful! We always watched General Conference when I was a child and I am so glad that it was just what we did.  I LOVE hearing the words of our Latter-day Prophets and Leaders.

To listen yourself or to learn more visit www.lds.org .

Now I’m off to get my Bountiful Basket and then enjoy snuggling up and watching Conference with my family!