but I just need to be honest with myself and really the world and own up. I totally ate a ton of chocolate and other assorted candy, cake, frosting and other “bad” stuff the past week. I did it consciously and now I’m paying for it. My body is so totally confused and is retaining water and having tummy aches like crazy. I know better. I believe that when we KNOW BETTER we are responsible to DO BETTER. I have not been doing better. I will eat right till around 4pm and then eat, eat, eat. It is amazing how quickly you can eat 2000 calories! AGGHHHH!
So that is my confession. The scale hit an all time high of 199 on Monday and that scared me but not enough to totally be back on track. I have been stressed out and very busy with Birthday parties, Easter and the Pinewood Derby that I’m in charge of happening today! Not to mention 2 derby cars to make sure are ready to go. Being Cub Master is A LOT of work, especially around derby time. I know I need to delegate more but I have a hard time letting go of things. So needless to say I haven’t had much sleep either and stress is leading me back to food again.
May 1st I begin all over. I know I should just say today but I need a few days to reverse what I’ve done. I am sitting here with a big very green smoothie and I did run 4.25 miles in 44 min this morning so that is progress. I wish the food didn’t play such a big role in weight gain/loss. I love exercise and could do it all day but if I eat anything wrong the pounds jump right up no matter what exercise I am doing. Oh well, thanks for reading and being my listening ear. I am just a normal person who is struggling to keep balance. Hopefully I’ll find it again really soon.
Off to spray paint 18 wooden ribbons because last minute I’ve decided I want something more to give the boys at the Derby race. Yep, I’m CRAZY!!!
Take the time you need to get back on track. I understand that, luckily I dodged the Easter bullet this year. But I get it, we'll still be here rooting for you when you get back!
ReplyDeleteGood for you for telling yourself the truth. I'm so sorry about your latest experiences. It's just plain hard sometimes. Good thing you are so good at trying and trying again :)
ReplyDeleteStress eating ... how many of us hear that loud and clear? And that then feeds the cycle. You'll get everything back in balance... or very close ;-) and you'll start feeling a whole lot better. You might consider doing that program, too. It is a great way to get back on track :)
ReplyDeleteWe all have bumps in the road on this journey. I personally have a lot. Just dust yourself off, and keep going.
ReplyDeleteThe pictures in your previous post look amazing! You have come such a long way, and you're so inspiring!
Well if you are crazy, count me in! Food is my struggle as well I could live in the gym, and I often wish I could just get some magical IV so I wouldn't have to eat again because once I start it is hard to stop! Anyway it is hard to be honest, I hope it helps make things a little easier or at least let the pressure off!
ReplyDeleteWe're all nuts! You can do it! You've got so many cheerleaders. Good luck!
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