Monday, May 21, 2012

Self-Sabotage / Changing your way of thinking.

I was so close to my goal for my birthday (just 5 days away now). It was within reach. On April 27th I was just 3 pounds away! Now it is too far away to grasp again.  I won’t reach my goal this year. I have let myself down. Why? 

I went searching for some answers and I am learning and growing from this experience.  Is it too much to ask for me to be happy with my weight again? I know I can have control over my eating and get there but why will I not allow myself to reach that goal again?  What am I afraid of?  Why won’t I give up the pleasure of food?  Yes, food is pleasure for me.  Sadly I find great pleasure in overindulging in food.  I must change my mindset on food again.  I did it before and I can and MUST do it again.  I have to stop thinking of this as a battle and a fight but simply a way of life.  I get tired of fighting and battling.  There is no way that I have the energy to fight every day but I can simply live differently each day. 

I will still work to obtain my goal but losing 11 pounds in 5 days is not healthy or probably even possible.  Most of it is water weight so I may get close but changing my thinking is what I must focus on right now. 

In searching for answers I came across some great information of self-sabotage.  Below I have copied the information and the link to it.  So for my birthday gift to myself I am changing my ideas on battling weight and food and simply choose to live a healthy life in harmony, not in a fight, with it. 

I will check back in Saturday or Sunday to let you know how my week is going.  Best of luck to all of you out there that are desiring this life change also.  It isn’t easy but to feel good and healthy is worth it!!!

You may be a victim of self sabotage if:

  • your goals tend to be just out of reach

  • you are settling for less than you really want

  • you find yourself road-blocked on the way to your dreams

Use the 5 signs of self sabotage and the following proactive tips to move past your sticking point and begin to create the life you desire.

What are you focusing on? Self-sabotaging behavior begins with a focus on what is not working or missing in your life. Pay attention to how often you speak and think about what is wrong, this includes what is not working, not right, or missing. This will only attract more of the things you don’t want.

Ask yourself what is good in my life right now? Begin to notice all the things that are working, no matter how small. You will begin to attract more of what is wanted into your life.

Where your focus goes so does your life!

Are you spending your time worrying about the future? Do you stress about what is going to happen or might happen? This is another sign of self sabotage.

Focus on the here and now. If something is bothering you, then focus on a solution. Visualize how you would like it to turn out then take action toward making it happen. Take as much action as you can in this moment, then let it go. When the timing is right continue taking further action and then let it go again.

There is nothing more you can do to help by worrying. Instead use tip number 1 and put your focus to work.

Your point of power is in the present!

3. Comparing Yourself to Others
Do you find that you constantly compare yourself to others and then feel bad? Comparing yourself to others usually doesn’t motivate, but rather it makes you feel overwhelmed or not good enough. This is a sign of self sabotage.

To overcome self sabotage- focus on you! Write out 5 accomplishments you are proud of. List 5 qualities you love about yourself. Find 10 adjectives to describe how great you are.

You are your greatest asset!

4. Worthless
Do you ever feel worthless, unworthy, or not good enough? Do you look at yourself and make excuses for why you can’t be, do, or have what you want? Seeing yourself as unworthy will keep your desires at bay.

Get in touch with your inherent self-worth. The wisdom of the universe considers you so worthy that it gave you existence. If it didn’t you wouldn’t be here. Learn to be your own greatest fan and supporter.

If you don’t value yourself, other people won’t do it for you.

Begin to value yourself and feel your self-worth by becoming your own greatest fan and supporter. Every time you accomplish something, give yourself a pat on the back. Seriously, say- great job, I am very proud of myself. It doesn’t have to be a big accomplishment, it could be getting your car washed, everything you do is valuable, begin to learn to appreciate yourself.

Here’s another:
Use affirmations. If you don’t believe in them, consider changing that belief and then put them to work for you. Look at yourself in the mirror; take a minute to really look. Then make eye contact and tell yourself:

  • I believe in myself,
  • I am inherently valuable and worth,
  • The universe applauds my life.

Repeat 5 times.

5. Living in the Past
Getting caught focusing on the past is a sign of self sabotage. It doesn’t matter if you spend your time dwelling on past failures or past accomplishments. Use the past to grow and move forward.

If there is a failure you are dwelling upon, stop. Every success has been preceded by a mountain of failures. That is how we grow, learn, and improve ourselves. Change your thinking about what it means to fail. Instead of taking it as a shot to your self-esteem, consider it part of your learning process. Every great person whether from sports, arts, science, or business knows what it’s like to fail. They also know what it’s like to brush themselves off and get back at it.

If you are dwelling on a past accomplishment and it is getting in the way, follow the same advice. Learn what you can from the accomplishment, feel good about it and then move on. Don’t identify yourself with the accomplishment. You are much greater than that.

As you let go of your past, you free yourself to fully live in the present. And the present is your point of power.

If you find yourself suffering from any of the 5 signs of self sabotage use the tips above to make the necessary changes to start living the life of your dreams.


  1. Thanks Becky. I really needed to hear this today!!!!!!

  2. Becky, I can totally relate to how you are feeling! I wish it didn't have to be so hard, but it is! You look fabulous and are doing amazing things. Thanks for being so honest and such an inspiration.