Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Ending the Year Right- Doing the Impossible

 

 running

  new year eve workout

NOTHING feels better than doing that thing you thought was not possible. I used to run at under 10 min/mile speeds all the time. It was the norm. Then I stopped running regularly. It was over a year ago that I ran at under 10 min/mile. Well today I needed to do something to feel good about myself after a week of eating JUNK and not exercising.  I did my 1/2 mile warm up walking at a 3.5-4 mile/hour pace. Then I thought I want to push myself. I set the goal to do a full mile in less than 10 minutes. I have been doing a mile here or there at 12 min pace or 11 if I really want to push it. So today I ran a mile in 9:46. Not fast by the world’s standards but fast for me, especially since I haven’t been running hardly at all.

new years eve workout 

Cropped

Monday, December 30, 2013

A Little Nervous to Check-in This Week

So I am a few days away from checking in officially for the week and I fear I have undone a few weeks of progress. The clothes tell me so. I was going to be so strong and not eat any of that wonderful goodness that kept coming to the door but I gave in. Over and over again! Time to get back on track and start exercising again too. Thursday I will post how the scale reads.

 love yourself

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

2 Month Check-in

No loss this week but 35 pounds for the 2 months and a few inches off my waist.

 

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(Excuse the dirty mirror.)

My size 10 jeans are fitting well again.

(I hate how every piece of clothing fits so differently. My a-line size 8 skirts fit but some size 14 pants will never fit because my body just isn’t shaped that way. My thighs will never be little so I am so thankful to find a brand of jeans that fit my waist, hips and thighs!)

Monday, December 16, 2013

Nineteen Wonderful Years!

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marriage marriage2 marriage3

 

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Happy 19th Anniversary!

19 Years down and ETERNITY to go!!!!

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Manti L.D.S. Temple

Thank you my love for bringing me to the most beautiful place on earth to be married and sealed for time and all eternity!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Personal Reflection

I began to put my pictures up for this week  and I was so excited to see just how much my body is changing then the thought occurred to me… in some ways you are discounting your overall beauty as a child of God when you say NOW I see myself as beautiful again. At what point did I decide that my beauty came from a number on a scale. NEVER when I was at 39o lbs did I think that I wasn’t beautiful or when I was over 400lbs and pregnant. I KNEW I WAS BEAUTIFUL! WHY now at nearly half that size is a number SO very important to me? Why does the size of my clothes and the measurement of my waist line matter?

When I was morbidly obese I was busy every minute of the day with 5 little people that relied on me for all of their needs. I was fully immersed in the mothering of small children. I was not thinking too much about my body. I had come to accept myself completely and was okay being huge.  That is the way I believed I was meant to be.  Not until the few life events occurred that made me question this belief in myself,  did I really feel the need to change my body.  My body up to that point hadn’t really limited what I wanted to do with my family. All of the sudden I couldn’t be present in the fun and adventure because my body was simply too big.

I had been okay when the chair was too small to fit in or being limited to just one or two clothing stores. I was fine with being last on the hike, the biggest in the room, or even having people speak about me in the grocery store. Did some of it hurt, yes but I knew who I was. I was confident as a wife and mother. Losing weight has made me question myself. All aspects of my life. The woman who used to squish into the movie seat and go home with bruises from the seat now worries about “muffin top”. I didn’t even really understand what a “muffin top” was until 4 years ago nor did I care. I was busy doing a lot of good for my family and others. I was HAPPY!

The weight comes off and now I question who I am. Do I still have that same worth? Am I really who I thought I was? The hardest part is how you are treated by society. I am now acceptable to the general public as I wasn’t before. Why does that create an insecurity inside of me. I never really thought about comparing myself physically to others because there weren’t many similarities. I have gotten caught up in the lies that society tells us. Society wants us to believe that our value is directly related to our dress size. I have sadly followed along and beat myself up because I don’t look like the perfect woman. I am ME and that all I can be. I need to love me for who I am and not try to be something that I am not.

I don’t think 400 lbs is the answer to me being happy and confident. I need to do more searching on my knees in prayer to decide just who this woman I am is meant to be. My youngest is now becoming very independent as a 6 1/2 year old and my oldest is off driving and very much his own man. I am very blessed that all of 5 children still need and want me to be there for them everyday. They love me and always have no matter what I look like. I often feel that that my wonderful husband loves me more than I love myself. He is so kind and generous to me. The reality is that my life is changing because simply put,  I am growing up.  Physically I have changed and that adds a complication to the mix but in reality life was changing anyway. My body shape and living a healthy life does play a role in my life but allowing it to consume my life is not creating a happy person. I need to find confidence and acceptance in who I am now. I will,  and life will move on.

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I am back to doing about an hour of cardio 3 days a week and my stomach crunches, push-ups, plank and other floor stuff 6 days a week.

 

I found this quote and really liked what it had to say.

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(I have always been very open and honest on my blog. In October I hit  rock bottom again. 250 lbs on the scale and depression was really setting in. I was binge eating and I was scared! My husband was getting worried too. I knew that I needed help.  I had prayed and decided that I needed to seek help. I saw my doctor back the end of October concerned about my rapid weight gain and she suggested using an appetite suppressant for a couple months to help get my eating back on track. It has helped a little but making good food choices and exercise is still a struggle. Losing and maintaining a healthy weight is hard work! The only way that I can stay healthy is to make the good choices every day. Being in control of food is my trial. Conquering the natural man inside of me that desires more food and unhealthy food will be my lifelong goal. My Heavenly Father has lovingly warned me of this and given me ways to lessen the hold it has on my life. I feel so blessed to know that I am of  infinite worth! No matter what my body shape I am a precious daughter of God! Remembering that when I go to the closet and none of my clothes fit is the challenge. :-)  )

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Week 7 – Check-in

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Guess what I wore Wed, Fri. and Saturday this week! My favorite jeans!!! They are still a bit tight (small muffin top)but not uncomfortable and I even got a compliment on them. YAHOOO!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Checking in – 6 Weeks

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

I convinced the kids to do the Turkey Trot with me this year. Freezing cold and early but we got out there and did it! The last 3 years I have run this on my own. Today there was very little running by the girls and I. The boys ran ahead and had some great exercise. The girls and I plugged along at a good walking pace. Laura was willing to jog a bit and we would set goals for ourselves. I am so proud of all of them. The Turkey Trot was actually 4.2 miles. That is a long way for them. Then add walking home and we hit 4.75 miles this morning.  IMG_6285 IMG_6303  IMG_6313

After the Turkey Trot and walking home. 4.75 miles total.

THE NUMBERS

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The smallest part of my waist. Several inches lost!!! My smallest ever was 29.5 inches.

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No real change in weight in 2 weeks. I am trying not to get discouraged. I was 23.4 pounds heavier just 6 weeks ago so my body needs to adjust. I am working hard on toning so the flab is shrinking and getting tighter.  Also my calorie intake has been a bit low so my body probably went into starvation mode so I have to be patient and figure out what I need to do to see the numbers drop again.

 

6 wks jeans

The exciting news…

I can actually put on and do up my favorite jeans again. YIPPEEE! I have a good size muffin top and they just might split out if I sit in them BUT they can do up!!! I hope I can wear them comfortably by New Years, we’ll see.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Sometimes I need to remind myself…

I know better than to weigh everyday but that doesn’t seem to stop me. Once a week is enough! Water retention, hormones and sore muscles add to weight quickly.  I have seen a few extra pounds this week on the scale and I needed a cute picture to remind myself that I am beautiful and I am still making progress in the right direction. Now to get on the elliptical before heading out of town for the weekend! Last night I ran/walked  3.75 miles on the treadmill. I feel it today but I was so proud of myself to push through even when it was so hard to run.

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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

One Month Check-in

I have been back on track for one month. I am so thrilled to be able to see great results. 23 pounds so far and 30 more to go!

Friday, November 15, 2013

I was too tired to workout…

and it was 10pm BUT I have goals to reach and so I did it even though my legs were wobbly. 32 min and 500 calories on the elliptical. 40 push ups, 200 crunches while watching the Biggest Loser to keep me motivated.

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Thursday, November 14, 2013

Healthy Sugar Cookies

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1/2 cup room temp butter
1 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups applesauce
3 eggs
2 tsp almond extract
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
7 cups whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp salt

Mix sugar and butter very well until light in color.  Add eggs, flavorings and applesauce. Mix well then add dry ingredients slowly.  This dough will be thick and a little tacky.  Divide into manageable balls and roll out to desired thickness onto a well floured surface.  I keep mine thick at about 1/4 inch or a little more.  The cookies will be nice and soft if you don’t roll them too thin.  They will raise in the oven some.  Cut into shapes and bake at 350 degrees till they slightly change color, about 10 minutes.  Since they are whole wheat you won’t see much change.  You can decorate them with frosting, sprinkles or glaze. I enjoy them them plain.

A Healthy Body Feels SO Good

I took what feels like a long break  from making healthy choices. Did the food taste good, YES! It was delicious. What I really hated was how tired and lazy I felt. I can’t explain it but for some reason doing the 12 Step program and focusing so much on the inner self and the WHY behind eating threw me into a downward spiral. I was depressed over it. I fell back into all of the old habits that I had worked so hard to overcome.  I quit going and slowly the desire to change came back. I wanted to make healthy choices but it just seemed too hard.  I was making being healthy too difficult.

So I went in to have a yearly physical done and was thankful that my blood work is still perfect. On paper I am healthy except I carry around too many pounds. So back to healthy food choices and some exercise. Exercise used to be the easy part but now the eating right is easier and the exercise is harder. I used to go out and easily run 4 miles at a  10 min/mile pace. Now I am struggling to run at a 11 or 12 min mile pace for a mile or 2. I know it will come back but it is HARD!!! Nathan is running the American Fork Half Marathon with me in June so I have to keep going and get faster because he wants me run with him.

The upside of all of this is that eating right and exercise FEELS SO GOOD! I love the stinky smell after a hard workout, the red face, the sweat dripping! I know that I made a choice to be a better me today.

WHY DO IT IF IT IS HARD?  To have a healthy body that will see my kids grow up. To someday see my grandchildren and be able to run and play with them. That is why I do this. I want a good life where I can be a full participant and not just watch life pass me by.

Thankfully I have seen quick results as my body usually responds quickly to change. It was been only 3 weeks and I have lost 20 pounds. Yes that is fast and no loss for the past 5 days. Most of it is water weight and not fat but I will take it!  I can already run a couple miles without stopping and although I am slow,  that is a huge accomplishment over a couple weeks ago.

So my all time high weight (this time around)  here at the house on my scale (first thing in the morning/ aux natural) was 249.9 lbs. (The scale at the doctors office read 254.4 lbs in the afternoon fasting but with clothes.) The scale yesterday was 229.1 lbs. The doctor wants me back under 210 lbs to be healthy and so do I. That number isn’t in “onederland” like I wish it would be but my darn bone and muscle structure comes from my Viking ancestors and they just weren’t light weights! I was there once and I may be there again someday but THIN is not my goal this time around.

 HEALTH is my goal and feeling GREAT!

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After a great workout of running and walking. The number is the step count. :-)

IMG_5750 Fun at SCHEELS.

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  I am so glad to have a separate bust and waist again. They were getting blurred because of the extra 20 pounds that mostly filled in the abdominal area.IMG_5836

Pictures taken November 2013.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Remember…

weight

 

I am heading in the right direction again after topping the scale at the doctors office at 254 lbs. About 20 lbs gone already!  :-) It isn’t easy but it is worth it to feel better about myself.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Proud of Myself

I might be eating everything under the sun and too much of it BUT this morning when I was awake at 5:30am I put on my running shoes and did a 2.15 mile run/jog in the beautiful breeze. I feel so BIG!!! My picture was on the front page of the newspaper and I had to cringe a bit. I am embarrassed by how big I have gotten. Camera angels do wonders but the truth is I am 40 pounds heavier than I should be. That is A LOT!!! I need to free myself from the FOOD! I know I can do this! I just have to decide to do it! But for today I am celebrating RUNNING!!! It felt so good!

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Monday, September 9, 2013

Just Do IT!!!

It was kinda tough  but I DID IT! I put on my running clothes and went for a short 1 1/2 mile jog with the dogs this morning. I took it easy and ran slow but I did IT! I need to keep making these easy but sometimes very difficult decisions and before I know it I will reach my goals. 

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Sunday, September 8, 2013

This Weeks Review

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I haven’t been worrying too much about eating and exercise. I have tried to simply take care of physical tasks like tilling and laying sod. Walking to meet the kids after school, walking the dogs, riding my bike over to work. Little things. Eating what I feel like and trying nit to overeat. I even gave in and bought some new dress pants that fit. They are a size I didn’t want to buy but hey I must cover this body. I feel happier than I have in a long time because I am focusing on my family, serving others and just finding happiness in the little things. I even bought myself my first ever footie pajamas. I always wanted some as a kid but I was too big to fit into them. They were just $4 and the thrift store. Silly I know but they are fun!

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Course Correction

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I posted a very lofty goal a couple weeks ago and at the time I was determined that no matter what I was going to reach it.  The proIMG_2712blem with the goal is that my mind was overwhelmed with the goal. I wasn't in balance. The battle of balance is hard for me. I am still working toward being healthy but I am starting to realize that my happiness is not determined by the number on the scale.

I am an average size American woman. I feel pretty healthy. I am eating more calories than maybe I should be but I am jogging again.I am trying to make healthier choices most of the time.  It sure feels good to feel my running shoes hitting the pavement and to get all sweaty and smelly.  I feel more toned and tight.  I am much larger than I like my body to be but for now I need to find happiness in it. The scale is going away for now. I don’t find happiness in the numbers. I just need to focus on my spiritual growth and also focus more on my role as a wife and mother. When I focus on those things the healthier me seems to emerge without much work.

So I am still working on my weight goal but it isn’t my focus. I think all of need a course correction every now and then.  I seem to need quite a few lately. I am really enjoying life right now even in this bigger-than-I want-to-be body.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Progress is Slow

I want to be down 30 pounds.  NOW! Gaining weight was FAST but losing weight is SLOW! It is easy to become discouraged. I made the mistake of getting on the scale Friday. I was feeling great and my pants were a bit looser so I just had to peek. 3 pounds up!!! UGGHHH! The scale isn’t always my friend and Friday it created a downward spiral in my plan . I ate well until mid afternoon. It was my first day back working and maybe that had something to do with it too but I ate more calories than I should have (about 2500 for the day). Well then yesterday I felt munchy all day and again I ate more than I should have.

Today my mind is back in the game. Sunday is a good day to step back and focus on the big picture. I need to be okay with 1 pound loses or gains. I need to pat myself on the back when I go for a walk rather than sit on couch. I am not perfect but I am trying. I am feeling more toned and seeing a little progress. Rather than slip further off track I am back in the game.

Working everyday I need to figure out when exercise will happen. I start at 6am getting kids ready and off then I am off. Once I get home the after school hours are busy with carpooling, sports games, homework, chores. Maybe after kids are in bed I can get a bit of cadio.

I can do this!!!

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Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Day 10

Breakfast: strawberries 100 cal, vanilla carbmaster yogurt 60 cal, 4 cups water

Lunch: boca burger 70 cal, flat bread 100 cal relish 15 cal, multi grain crackers 140 cal, 4 cups water

Snacks:apple 100 cal, 4 cups water

Dinner: foot long turkey ham subway 560 cal, 4 cups water

Exercise: morning 1.75  mile walk, pushups, crunches, 2 mile evening walk

Total calories: calories 1045 cal

Water: 16 cups

Week 1 Accountability- Feeling Great

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Monday, August 19, 2013

Day 7

This first week has been a lot easier than I had thought it would be.  The difference is my mind is in the right place.  I am keeping focused on my goal. I am praying A LOT! Tomorrow I step on the scale. I feel like my body has changed quite a bit this week. I know there will be some pretty awesome results on the scale. The first week is always the best for results!!!

Exercise:  I began the Day with 12.25 mile bike ride and a 1.5 mile cool down walk. 4 cups water

Breakfast: strawberries 100 cal, yogurt 60 cal

Snack: banana 90 cal, leftover yellow squash 25 cal

Lunch: boca burgers 140 cal, flat bread 100 cal, relish 25 cal, multi grain chips 140 cal, 4 cups water

snack: 4 cups water, water flavor 10 cal

exercise: 1 mile walk

Dinner: casserole 400 cal, nuggets 200 cal, 4 cups water

snack:  watermelon 200 cal, wheat thins 140 cal

Total Calories: 1620

Tomorrow morning I will weigh in. :-)

Endomondo Cycling Workout

Endomondo Cycling Workout

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Day 6

Breakfast: A few strawberries and a bite of yogurt 75 cal (I was running out the door to Church)

Snacks: wheat thins 70 cal 4 cups water

Lunch: quesadilla with cheese and turkey 350 cal, tortilla chips 140 cal, salsa 50 cal, fruit salad 150 cal 4 cups water

Snack: Skinny Cow 100 cal, 4 cups water

Dinner: bow tie pasta 220 cal, yellow squash 80 cal, marinara sauce 80 cal, cheese 140 cal, 4 cups water

Exercise: Sabbath Day of rest

Water: 16 cups

Total Calories: 1455 calories

We Did IT!!! Bucket List Item #1. CHECK!

4:30 am and ready to walk out the door!

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