Monday, January 31, 2011

No Surgery Today

After 4 hours laying in the hospital pre-op and getting stuck 3 times I was sent home.  The surgeon was 4 hours late then I got bumped for more serious cases and emergency surgeries.  The plan is to try again tomorrow morning.  I am mad, frustrated, sad and just overflowing with tears.  I was handling everything so well and put on my brave face but on the drive home from the hospital I let it all out.  I feel so much better now but doing it again tomorrow, AGGGHHHH!

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I'm So Thankful for the Peace the Priesthood Brings

What a beautiful sabbath day we had yesterday.  On Saturday we had a wonderful Stake (church area) Woman's Conference. I loved the classes I was able to attend and was reminded of how much I need to rely on Our Savior and Heavenly Father to give me strength.  I felt The Spirit so strong yesterday in Sacrament Meeting and then again as the Bishopric taught our 5th Sunday Class. I fell so very blessed that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I am so thankful to know that I am a Daughter of God and that my Heavenly Father loves me and is continually watching over me.  I am thankful for my older brother Jesus Christ and his willingness to suffer and die for me that I may be forgiven of my wrong doings and ultimately gain Exaltation. What a blessing it is to know that death does not end our family relationships but through the Holy Temple we are sealed for eternity.

Dan and I had the opportunity to attend the priesthood ordination for 3 young men in our Ward (neighborhood). It was a very choice experience to feel of our Heavenly Fathers power being given to these to these boys.  Two of them were ordained Elders and received the Melchizedek Priesthood. One of the young men was our next door neighbor who I have watched grow up for the past 11 years.  This strong 18 year old man is an incredible example in all that he does.  He is amazing!  He excels in his school works and pushes himself to achieve excellence in all that he does academically.  He is a spiritual giant and leader at Church among the other young men. He is a gentleman and respects women.  Thank you Jack for allowing me to be a part of your ordination.

The other young man that received the Melchizedek Priesthood is one our our Home Teachers along with his Dad.  Just 1/2 hour after the ordination they came over to assist Dan in giving me a Priesthood Blessing in preparation for my surgery this morning.  What a great opportunity to have this young man be able to participate in a blessing of healing for the first time.  It is had to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it for themselves the peace and comfort that comes when worthy Priesthood holders lay their hands on your head and pronounce a blessing on you from your Heavenly Father. I have felt such an increase of love, peace and assurance that all will be well. I no longer have the worry and anxiety that I had before.  I know that the Priesthood of God is real and here on the Earth because I have felt it's power and have seen the miracles that can come about from its' use.  I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father that blesses us daily and this morning I am thankful for the peace and comfort I feel from Him.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Happy!

I actually stopped counting calories the last few days and have done morning and evening cardio but at a lower intensity and I am seeing results. The scale was down to 183 this morning. I am no longer focusing so much on the numbers (it is nice to see them go down though) but on how I feel and look.  My clothes still fit well even when the scale jumped up to 189 last week.  I think a lot of my weight fluctuation the last month or so is my gallbladder problems.  We'll see how my goal for balance goes as it is removed. 

In talking to the surgeon yesterday he told me that if I want to walk a mile the day after surgery to do it!  He said I can even run when I feel up to it.  He warned me that I'd probably be too tired to do too much but just to listen to my body. No crunches, kickboxing or weights over 20 pounds for 6-8 weeks to let my insides completely recover.  I'll have to stick to that because I don't want a hernia! I was  really impressed with him and he put me at ease as far as my recovery worries. The surgeon and his P.A. were very impressed by my weight loss and congratulated me on it and told Dan he should be so proud of me.  It always feels good to hear that from people in the medical field. I felt like cheering "YEAH ME!" It has been a long hard road but it is worth it not to have my weight limiting my life anymore!!!

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Surgery will be Monday sometime.  I'll find out Sunday night what time to go to the hospital Monday.  It is just outpatient surgery so I'll be home by evening time.  My wonderful neighborhood and Ward (Church) family as well as my sister Anna and others have already volunteered lots of wonderful help.  I feel very loved! 

My amazing husband will be home next week to help with the running around of kids.

The surgeon had my blood work redone yesterday because he was very worried about my liver but everything came back almost normal.  That is wonderful news!  They figure I actually passed a gallstone through my common bile duct on Tuesday last week when I had the really long attack.  I'll let you know how the surgery goes.  Please send your prayers my way Monday morning.  I am still somewhat in disbelief that this is all happening and I'm really nervous to go under anesthesia.

Monday, January 24, 2011

A Little Update on My Health

The doctor called me today to let me know that I don't exactly have an infection yet but there is concern that one will start any minute. I am having localized tenderness and a warm sensation on my back so she is concerned that an infection has begun. My liver enzymes were very high as well as my bilirubin which shows distress with my liver. She hopes those numbers come down as soon as my gallbladder comes out.  She apologized for the nurse worrying me about having an infection but she does want to put me on two different antibiotics to prevent an infection because she said it could be very serious if I get one. She repeated 3 times to do directly to the emergency room if I get a fever because it is that serious.  I hate it when a doctor says, " I don't want to scare you but you must understand how serious this situation could become if you get a fever." So I'm off to get some very expensive antibiotics to keep the infection away or to get rid of it if one has in fact started.  I wish they could just take my gallbladder out NOW and not have to wait a week.  I don't like knowing that my body is sick and having to wait to get it fixed.  I really feel for people with really serious health problems because I sure am not handling this situation very well.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Yummy Food

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This was a delicious lunch.  I fear that this meal gave me my worst gallbladder attack that lasted 6 hours that evening.
A new recipe I created this afternoon. The measurements are a little approximated because that is just how I am. Sorry!
Banana Oat Choc Chip Cake created by Becky Jones
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1 1/2 cup oat flour (I ground up regular oats in a coffee grinder)
1/4 cup egg white
1/4 cup honey
3 ripe bananas mashed
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup chocolate chips
Mix all ingredients together and bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes in a greased 8x8 pan.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

My Thoughts

I made my last post sound a little over the top I think.  My 2 hours of exercise is 1 hour cardio 5 days a week my second hour of the day is after the kids are in bed, laying on the floor while I enjoy watching my favorite tv shows and do my crunches, pelvic lifts, weights,  push ups, etc.  It is very low key and not really a full hour because I rest in between and don't sweat or anything, it is just enjoyable and part of my nightly routine.  I also don't do it EVERY night but most nights.

I know myself very well and realize that I can slip up very easily since I already have started the slippery slope back to where I used to be.  The worry over surgery has already sent me back to my old favorites of mashed potatoes, rolls, crackers, cookies, ect. Sadly I feel like I am justified in eating them because I want their comfort.

I realize that it will be only a couple months before I can be back to my regular routine. Hopefully I'll be able to at least walk on the tredmill a little a week or two after surgery. 

Unless you have lived as a morbidly obese person since being a baby and just finally reached your goal weight after 18 months of extremely hard work You can not possibly understand how I am feeling right now.  I worry and I think that's ok.  I will have the surgery and heal and get back to living a healthy life but I hate medication, I always have.  I don't even take Tylenol except a few times in my life when having a migraine or with strep throat.  I don't like the idea of needing pain meds.  I don't like anything that will change my mind to not think clearly or to numb things.  Enough of that...  I hope my thoughts seem more understandable than my previous post.  If not, that is how I feel and I am willing to own them as mine.

Friday, January 21, 2011

I am FREAKING OUT!

I just found out that I need to have surgery.  The only surgery I have ever had was to remove my impacted wisdom teeth when I was 16 years old.  I was put under general anesthesia for it but still that was very minor. I need to get my gall bladder taken out soon.  I have several stones and an infection!  I should have gone running to the doctor back in November when I had my first gall bladder attack but it went away after 1 hr or so, so I just wrote if off to muscle cramping from working out too hard or gas pains.  Well I've had 4 or 5 more attacks since then and Tuesday night I had one that lasted 6 hours.  It was as intense but wow, I knew the doctor was in my near future.  I saw a doctor Wednesday morning had blood work done then Thursday went for an ultra sound and now here it is Friday and I have surgery scheduled for 10 days out.  I should have gone in back in November and had this taken care of but I was worried about just having gas pains and looking foolish. 

I know this is a routine surgery and I'll only be down for about 7-10 days then pretty much back to normal other than my exercise routine in 6 weeks.  I am freaking out about not being able to do my normal 2 hours exercise 5 days a week.  I should be able to start walking after a few days but what about my running 5 miles a day or the hour on the elliptical, my 500 crunches and I'm finally up to 100 push-ups a night.  AGGGGHHHH!   I worry that I am going to gain weight from this and blow my healthy eating. Yep, I'm officially FREAKING OUT!!!


You'd think I'd be worried about the surgery itself and I am a little bit, especially the anesthesia and the cutting 4 holes in my stomach muscle that I've worked so hard to develop, darn it! Oh well, it must be done and the sooner the better so I have to mentally be strong and I know all will be well.  Right?!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Hanging in There

I have been having a hard time with finding balance between eating and exercise and the scale.  My body is all out of whack right now.  My hormones are crazy, I may need my gall bladder out, and the numbers (calories in-out) just aren't adding up.  I should be losing or at least maintaining but the scale goes up and up.  AAGGHHH!  It is so frustrating.  Hopefully once I figure my gall bladder problems out then maybe my body chemistry will even out a little. I keep trying to make good choices. I am keeping a food journal every day and weighing in every day so that I can stay on top of things.  One day at a time, right?!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Confused! and a bit Frustrated!

You know you are working out like crazy and eating right but why is the scale going the wrong way or why is it not moving fast enough?  I just had a wonderful conversation with a friend about this very thing.  She has 50 pounds to lose to reach her goal and my same 10 pounds are haunting me still.  Yep, the scale is back to 186 again. Why?  I am not sure why to be honest.  I am working out literally 1 1/2 - 2 hours cardio a day and doing toning. I am watching what I eat but the scale isn't showing me the results I want.

This sadly isn't the first time I have been through this.  It seems to happen every few months.  Your body needs time to change and with monthly hormone cycles and changes in stress levels and so many other factors we just sometimes can't explain why we aren't seeing the results.  Just be assured that if you are doing everything right then eventually you will see the big pay off.  It just may not be tomorrow but possibly next week. 



 If things really don't seem to be changing on the scale for you then it's time for you to change part of your routine.  Vary your calorie intake day to day to keep your body guessing and that will improve your metabolism.  Switch up your exercises every few days not only so you don't get bored but also so your body gets a better workout.  also remember that you will gain a certain amount of muscle mass along with losing fat so if the scale isn't moving but your clothes are fitting loser, smile because good change is happening.

Of course if all else fails and we can't figure out what we need to do then go to the one who knows all, Our Heavenly Father.  Maybe we should speak with Him first.  I continually pray for help in keeping my healthy goals.  I have gained a lot of strength with in myself this past 18 months since I started this journey but I know that without divine help I can not become who I want to be and who He needs me to be.

Good luck and keep making the healthier choice and you will reach your goals!!!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Checking In and HAPPY with my Numbers

So it is now Friday and I've increased my workouts and varied them and watched a lot closer what I am eating (I'm still eating about 2000 calories). I have still splurged a bit but that makes life so much more enjoyable! :-) I have read many blogs where people are doing a cleanse or following this diet or that and I've read up on most of them but "diets" aren't for me. They are losing weight but will it stay off when the cleanse is over?  Not unless they have changed their lifestyle!  My scale this morning read 181 lbs!  I am back within my goal weight range.  I'd like be be at the lower end at 176 lbs or so but a 8 lb loss for 1 week or 5 lbs in 5 days by just doing what I should and no extremes is FANTASTIC!!!!! Now to keep going and not regain that weight again. 

Monday, January 3, 2011

Being Accountable

 

This picture was taken yesterday while preparing dinner.057

I ate myself into gaining 10 pounds in the past month.  I have still exercised like crazy (1-2 hours 5 days a week) but I let my eating get more relaxed and boy did my body hold onto every ounce of fat and gram of sugar I consumed.  I didn’t eat more than 2000 calories a day except on the 3 main holidays so I shouldn't have gained that much but oh well, that’s what the scale says.  So today the scale read 186 lbs.  That is better than the 189 lbs Sad smileI saw last Friday.  I am back on track and my goal is to see 176 lbs by February 1st.  Really I’d like to see it in a week but that would be a little crazy!

So here is my being accountable:

Exercise so far today:

45 min on the elliptical at 8-10 tension (1000 cal burned it said)

3.5miles run on the treadmill at 5.5 miles/hour (500 calories burned)

Food eaten:

Breakfast:1 egg (90 calories) and green smoothie (300 calories) and 16 oz water

Lunch: 2 slices turkey (60 calories)

1 1/2 cup homemade vegetable soup (250 calories)

5 grape tomatoes (25 calories)

4 ribs of celery (30 calories)

24 oz water

Afternoon snack: 5 grape tomatoes (25 calories)

3 ribs of celery (23 calories)

1 Kellogg's fiber plus choc chip granola bars (120 calories)

24 oz water