Sunday, March 31, 2013

Don’t Worry!

I now have a goal to work toward!  I just registered for my 3rd year running in the AF Canyon Half.  I have  MOTIVATION!!! 13.1 miles won’t feel good if I don’t lose a few pounds and train hard. 75 days till race day!

 

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Drowning!

That sounds dramatic but that is how I feel.  I am eating WAY TOO MUCH and all the bad stuff.  I am NOT EXERCISING at all!  I have gained 20+ pounds since December. Moving threw me way off. Not having my exercise equipment available for 3 months I quit exercising.  Once you lose your routine it is so hard to go back. None of my clothes fit.  I am having to buy new bigger clothes. :-(

I told myself a year ago that I would NEVER do this to myself!!! 

I just really hate how I feel so I run to food to ease my pain which of course is not the answer and just makes everything worse.  I keep saying tomorrow I will do better and I make it through part of the day and then the eating begins and the laziness sets in.  My relationship with FOOD has NEVER, never been worse.  I am doubting my ability to do this again.  It is so hard!  I want to like the woman in the mirror again.  More importantly I want to feel good about how I am treating myself.

I KNOW WHO TO GO TO FOR HELP.

I NEED MY SAVIOR! 

I CAN DO THIS!

I HATE HOW HARD THIS IS!!!

 

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I didn’t want to post a picture. I don’t like this picture but… this is me today.

I need to make change. 

I WILL DO IT!!!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Am I Ready to be ME?

I was asked to be a guest blogger for a dear friend of mine. What a blessing is was to have to sit down and put a few of my thoughts and feeling down again. Writing is very therapeutic for me. I have put everything ahead of my health and well being and boy have I slid way off track. Gladly there is time to get back. We always have the ability to choose our path and I choose health and happiness. I begin today to become ME again. The ME I love to greet in the mirror. The ME that wants to go run and happily serves others. The ME I know I need to be!

Here is what I wrote:

The lady that lost over 200 pounds. The one that runs half marathons. The one that eats healthy and exercises religiously 5 days a week. She is toned, she looks healthy and fit. That was me…..until I let the things of life derail me. Gladly I am not too far gone that 3 months of intense attention to proper eating and exercise will fix things. I cringe every day I go to put on clothes. 15-20 extra pounds really makes for a huge muffin top in your favorite jeans that fit just right at Christmas. The question is, am I ready to change? AGAIN? Am I willing to let go of the unhealthy foods and the lazy body that doesn’t want to move? I am slowly working on this change. The food is still winning most hours of the day after 4pm. I have my started using my elliptical and treadmill again and it feels great to sweat.

Little changes every day will help me to eventually reach my goal to be healthy. I have decided that as much as the number on the scale reflects advancing toward my goal it is more important how I feel about my body. Right now I don’t like how I feel or look. I want to feel true to myself. I know what healthy feels like. To go out and breeze through 4 mile runs without effort, to eat right and not want the sweets, to slide easily into those favorite jeans and feel fantastic. I WANT THAT AGAIN! I REALLY DO!

The question is…. Am I really ready to change my way of thinking and DO what is required? YES, I think so. Not too convincing is it? I still love food I have a food addiction. I am overeating terribly. I need to rely on my Savior and Heavenly Father more to remove this from me.

 I know I can conquer this trail as I have in the past but it is hard. It requires a strength beyond that which I possess. I need heavenly help to achieve my goals. I must become humble and seek that help. I know that is the only way I will reach my goals.

 I can do this hard things. 

I can BECOME who I want to be. 

 I can REACH HIGHER and DO BETTER. I can be ME!

 I can do this hard thing. 

I can BECOME who I want to be.

 I can REACH HIGHER and DO BETTER.

 I can be ME!