Saturday, July 23, 2011

I've Wanted to Do this Ride for Awhile

This ride wasn't planned for today but once I started riding I thought why not do it today. I have been a little scared to ride so far on the highway and a couple hills seemed really daunting but believe it or not is what a nice ride and not difficult at all. I loved it and can't wait to do another long ride soon!

Friday, July 22, 2011

The Reality of Weight Loss (revised)


It takes a lot of courage to post these picture from yesterday. It’s definitely not my favorite picture but it is the reality of extreme weight loss.  I usually make sure that my angles are perfect the lighting is great that my skin is all tucked in just right. But this my dear readers is what happens when you have lost  a lot of weight and your skin is stretched out from too many years of being morbidly obese.  I really wish I could get rid of the extra skin hanging on my legs.  I tell you they look gorgeous when I have them up in the air but gravity sure does a number on the pounds and pounds of extra skin.  I live with my arms flapping around ok but do get some funny looks over them. I am noticing them more in pictures. Oh well, I should love it and embrace it as a badge of all my hard work but I sure wish there was a way to get rid of it other than surgery (I will never have surgery. Too much money, recovery and the scars are nasty!) So here is me trying to accept the body that I have and keep trying to love it with extra skin and all!004

The arms, oh dear! But I just won’t live my life covering everything up. This is me all loosey goosey skin and all!


P.S. I took this pictures merely minutes ago to remind myself that even though under it all the skin is lose and the body not perfect, I am beautiful and I am so thankful to have this amazing strong healthy body and a cute little girl as a bonus.

P.P.S. I didn’t mean to criticize my body and what it looks like but just hope that others who may be going through this journey may gain an understanding of what may be ahead of them.  I wish that I knew that the skin wouldn’t just shrink up and disappear.  I work so hard to tone and the arm skin has shrunk a lot but the legs, hips, thighs and backside  are much slower to respond.  I guess that’s why we have clothes!

Good Exercise

I have had a couple days of great exercise this week and boy did it feel good!  My running partner is on vacation for 2 weeks so it is up to me what I do and when as far as exercise goes.  I like setting my own schedule and doing what I want.  I am not running as much as when we go 3 days a week, 6 miles, 4 miles, 6 miles. I am riding my bike more and loving it!  I did get one day of 6 miles running in.  I do like the aspect of being "expected' to be there to run with a partner. She pushes me and I need that. I guess this is my little vacation from regular routine and  I'm enjoying it!

Do you have a different exercise routine in the summer than at different times of the year?

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Finding Balance

I have felt very out of balance recently.  I didn’t notice how crazy I had gotten until I had  MAJOR meltdown last week.  I haven’t released so much emotion and junk in a sitting in a couple years.  The last time was right before I began my journey to this new body.  Wow, I felt like I was rock bottom again. But why?  after pouring out my heart and soul to my best girlfriend for 2 hours I realized that once again life is out of balance.

I was focusing too much on exercise and eating right that it was backfiring on me.  I was stressed out over it and losing sleep because of it and in turn I wasn’t seeing any results from my hard work.  I was tracking every bite and the moving of every muscle. Why?, because I wanted to be a good example for Jack who is working so hard to lose weight for his mission. I was rewinding my life to 2 years ago and reliving crisis mode and that isn’t where I am now. It isn’t what I need to do right now.  I am past that part of my journey.

As I talked through a lot of garbage that had filled my mind I realized that I have so far to go to be healthy in my thoughts and feelings about myself.  I have the eating right and exercise thing down but making sure that my mind, heart and spirit are there too is a little more difficult. I realized that my spiritual side has been a little neglected.

My breakdown was Friday night while Dan was gone camping with Nathan. When he got home Saturday afternoon I filled him in on my state of mind and decided the place I needed to be was The Temple. Life had gotten in the way of our regular Temple night the last 2 months and I missed the peace and quiet that worshipping in the House of the Lord brings to my life.  Oh how I wanted to stay there in the Celestial room and not go back to daily life.  It was just what I needed to regain some balance.  Then Sunday I was blessed to be asked to teach the Relief Society lesson on Eternal Marriage Sunday and how wonderful it was to share my testimony to the sisters of the importance of the temple and being sealed in the Temple.  I was really starting to feel better about life and myself.

I took the time Sunday evening to go on a long walk alone while listening to April General Conference.  It was a beautiful evening, I love the quiet valley that I live in.  The sun was setting  and I took the time to feed my spirit.  We never stopped daily scripture study, FHE or prayers but I hadn’t been focusing on my personal spirituality.  I haven’t been relying on The Lord as much as I should be. 

So now I am working again on the balancing act.  I am so thankful to have the knowledge that I have of our Heavenly Father’s Plan of Happiness.  What a blessing it is to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I have such peace in my heart again just knowing that The Savior is there to pick me up every time that I fall and no matter how many times I get off track He will always be there.  I love the picture that I have hanging in my living room that I often look at and meditate over.  The title of this painting is “Seeking the One”. He is there for us but we have to let Him in!

Seeking the one

Balance, I hope I can keep it for a little while before it leans one way or the other again.  Thank goodness everyday we can start over and that we aren’t on the journey alone!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Numbers, number, numbers...

Well the numbers aren't in my favor today.  I know a gain of 7 pounds isn't really possible given that it would require eating 24,500 extra calories but I sure didn't like seeing those numbers.  I am sure a lot of it is water weight since I've been eating too much salt and not drinking enough water.  I'll check my weight in a few days and see if some of that weight is gone.  Oh well, my clothes still fit the same and I had a day full of exercise. I ran 7.5 miles this morning then spent 3 hours playing on bounce houses with the kids then a couple miles on the bike.  Sometimes numbers are just simply numbers and I'm so proud of myself that it didn't change my mood at all!

Monday, July 4, 2011

3 pound loss!!!

I woke up early this 4th of July and got right outside to exercise. I ran 6.75 miles followed by 7.75 mile bike ride.  I then got on the scale and was thrilled to see a 3 pound loss for the week. YEAH!!!!!  Hard work really has paid off.  I’ve been watching my calories and exercising a lot inside as well as out and it really worked. Finally to see some progress is WONDERFUL!

Update on Jack, the young man in my previous post. He lost 12 pounds last week.  Way to go Jack!!! His goal is to lose about 40 more pounds before he can re-submit his mission papers.  I’m so proud of him!