Sunday, June 8, 2014

Walking the Talk- 260 lbs today

I am pretty good and talking the talk of healthy living but lately (the last 2 years) I haven’t been walking the walk. The roller coaster of weight loss and gain has to stop. I have lost and gained literally 140 lbs the past 2 years. I am uncomfortably comfortable in my skin. I can’t explain it but being larger than most everyone around me is comfortable. It is what I have known my whole life up to a few years ago. I however don’t want to feel comfortable here.

I am not healthy. The food is in control of me. I need to regain control. I need to put my life in heavens hands again. I need to turn this heavy burden over to The Lord as I did 5 years ago. I need His help. This struggle is SO much more than I can handle myself. Food is once again consuming ALL of my waking thoughts and I am not being able to focus completely on those things that are most important. This trial is hard to explain to others who have not experienced it but I literally think about what I can eat next all day long. I am not hungry but I want to eat and seek out to eat whatever is on my mind.

I love how I feel when I am living a healthy lifestyle so this change MUST happen today! I need to do this on my own with my Savior’s help. No contest to win, no big trip to earn, just simply becoming HEALTHY! I deserve this, my family deserves this!  My Heavenly Father needs me to be ready spiritually and physically to be able to accomplish any task no matter what is it! I love myself enough to do this VERY HARD THING! With my Savior I can do this! I am ready!

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