Tuesday, September 20, 2011

205 are you kidding me?

As frustrated as I am,  I still feel beautiful and strong!

(I’m still wearing size 10 jeans!)


I can’t believe I’ve allowed myself to get back here.  I had a goal to NEVER see 200 pounds again!  I am very frustrated to be here.  It makes me sad that I haven’t kept my promise to myself to eat only healthy foods.  The exercise I do and I enjoy but FOOD is another creature.  Once I let the forbidden foods back into my diet after my gall bladder surgery (for comfort) in February,  18 pounds have come flying back.  So, the foods are forbidden again.  I think I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I wish I weren’t but it is just the way I am wired.  I also don’t have any fitness goals right now, nothing to train for so I need to change that real quick too.  There is a half marathon for Halloween that I am toying with.  It is a much more difficult course than my first half  (steeper to start and a lot longer flat distance) so that scares me a little  BUT I have realized that I am a goal driven woman for the most part.  I did set my goal to get back under 190 to see Cilene Dion but since I know we can’t really afford it I guess it hasn’t meant too much to me.  So I am setting a short term goal to be back under 200 solidly by October 1st.  I really want to be under by next week but we’ll see. (I have been retaining a lot of water from too much sodium so it may be possible.) I can do hard things!!!


  1. You are beautiful and strong! Don't ever forget that. That and I love you!

  2. Eventually you'll get it (me, too!) The point is you keep trying and fine tuning it all so it works for you. :) Good job!

  3. Do the Halloween Half!!! I'm doing it and so are some friends. It's such a fun race! You are doing so great and are such a good example. I know you are going to achieve your goals!

  4. I understand that all or nothing thing as well. All too well, in fact. You can do it.

  5. I have gained weight since I started running. Keep telling myself it that it is all muscle, but I really have problems not consuming a bunch of extra calories on run days. But I'm not going to stop running!

    You can do it. You can do hard things.

  6. The thing I love most about this post is that you did not wallow in the 205, you realize that you are not the 205. That is just what you weigh right now it is not what you are. This is a hard battle but at least we know or can remember that we are at WAR.
    Here's hoping you only gain ground to winning the battle this week!