Monday, March 5, 2012

Moving Forward With Faith

What a difference a few days can make.  My heart and mind are at peace.  Yesterday was fast Sunday.  I love fast Sunday because I feel such a great power in fasting and prayer.  I know that miracles can happen through fasting! I have really been struggling with finding balance in my life lately.  There has been a lot of stress lately.  Nothing major but lots of little things.  Lots of sickness with the kids and some of it very worrisome.  I haven’t felt good either, very tired and on the verge of depression.  I had fallen back into the mindset of people pleasing rather than doing things from my heart.  I hope that makes sense.  Anyway, I have been fasting, praying and attending the Temple trying to figure out what I needed to do to get back to my old self again.  I also asked Dan for a Priesthood Blessing.  I have felt the love of my Heavenly Father so strongly over these last couple of weeks as I have really struggled though some dark times.  Yesterday night very late as I cried my heart out in bed to my sweet, patient husband the answer came so clearly to me.

I know myself better than anyone else.  I know how to get back on track.  I have done this before.  I need to once again take charge and do what I know.  Now I also know that I need to put my Heavenly Father and Savior first so I’ve come up with a plan to make this all work.  I am so excited for this change and so far so good today, day 1. 

My routine for the last 5 months was get up at 4:45am and get to boot camp or toning class by 5:15 am,  arrive home around 6:25am.  Make breakfast for the family, eat with the family because I feel famished, get the kids off to school after family prayer,  get cleaned up for the day, then snack because I’m tired and hungry still then tackle the day. Eat a good healthy lunch but by 2pm I am exhausted and falling asleep on the couch as the kids get home from school.  Snack to stay awake. By 4 pm I start carpooling kids to band and dance and hope not to fall asleep while driving.  I again snack to stay awake.  I make dinner and eat my portion and more while cooking because I still feel famished.  Homework, chores and tv time comes in there somewhere as well as Cub Scouts and YM.  Scriptures and family prayers around 8pm and the girls to bed there after.  The older kids are in bed by 9:30pm but I still need some me time so I stay up till 10:30 pm but I’m too tired to exercise at all so I attempt a few pushups and crunches while watching tv then crawl into bed by 11pm just to begin my day again after less than 6 hours of sleep.

This was not working for me or the family!  After 5 months my body, heart and spirit were crying for help. Sadly, I love the workout classes but the schedule just wasn’t working.  I have done things that I never thought my body could possibly do.  I love the instructor MaryAnne. She was my angel that has kept me moving through the winter when I needed someone else to push me. I also love the people in the class that I workout with and I will miss them dearly.  BUT I had to change this downward cycle I was in.

My new routine as of today:

6:30am wake up

6:30-6:45am personal devotional time with prayer and scriptures or Ensign

6:45am make breakfast

7am wake the kids that are still asleep and send Dan off to work after family prayer, kids eat breakfast and get ready

7:45am take the kids to school or hurry them out the door if the weather is good

8-9:30am change into workout clothes and enjoy the exercise room while Jaimee watches PBS.

9:30am get cleaned up and get ready for the day

10am make my smoothie

The day is mine for the taking!

The plan is to get an hour workout in before bed then in bed by 11pm.

 

I feel at peace.  I feel like this is what I need and my family needs for me to do.  I was being very selfish going to my early morning classes because I love the atmosphere and it was easier to have some else pushing me.  I had something else to blame for me not losing the weight and eating right.  I was making excuses.  I wasn't living my best life and I wasn’t being true to myself and others.  So today is a new beginning and I am so happy for fresh starts!

I have also made a new goal.  Last year I had in my mind to get back to 190 pounds. Before I had my gall bladder surgery February 2011, I was successfully maintaining below 190lbs. My goal is to hit 190 pounds by my birthday, May 26th, and keep it off trough the whole year and forever.  I know I can do this.  It won’t be easy but I have done it before!  Thank you for everyone who reads my blog and especially those of you that leave your comments.  I have a food addiction.  It is hard to explain the desire I have for food but this trial was taken away from me once as I did my part and lived worthy of the blessing and I know it will be taken from me again as I exercise my faith and do my part again. 

march52012 055My Savior is with me in this picture because I know that I can do this only with His help!  He is my strength!

march52012 056The scale has dropped 2 pounds  already.  It’s amazing what letting go of stress and finding peace can do for your body and spirit.

 march52012 058

A real smile of happiness and peace as I look toward the future with great hope and no more fear!!!

9 comments:

  1. AWESOME! Thats all just AWESOME!

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  2. That is the cutest picture of you ever! :)
    I am so glad that you have found some peace in all of this, what a blessing! I don't know how you've kept up for so long running the way you were. I hope that changing things up brings you more joy and a lot less crazy!

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  3. This is inspirational for me - I know what it is like to finally find peace and to have things start falling into place. I just need to keep being faithful and making decisions that will be best for me. Thank you for sharing! I can do this life too and be happy. :) No giving up.

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  4. Good for you for being able to step back and assess and make changes! It is so huge to be AWARE :)

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  5. Sounds much more nurturing. Thank you for taking care of my friend Becky!

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  6. I love routine - I especially love your new routine!! Thanks for sharing. Simplify, simplify, simplify - it's perfect!

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  7. Becky--I love your blog and especially needed to read this today. My struggles have been somewhat similar. I lost 88 pounds and then hit a wall, haven't felt well, gained most of it back and I've been in what feels like a whirlpool for the past 2 years trying to figure out how to get back to where I want/need to be (where I know Heavenly Father wants me to be). I just recently had a similar inspiration that I know myself best and I know what works for me. I'm slowly getting things back in place, but it has helped so much to read this today. Thank you.

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  8. Becky-
    Your blog is beautiful and inspiring. Thanks for the link. I can really relate to the third paragraph. Thanks for all you're doing to make the world a better place. I love your example of faith.
    P.S. You're picture is just darling.

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  9. Becky,
    I am so glad that I found this blog! You are an inspiration. I can so relate to what you have written. I have had to tweak my routine to find what works for my life right now too. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone is this struggle for health, no matter what the scale says.

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