Saturday, March 3, 2012

Why FEAR?

I have been fearful of the scale.  It sounds so silly but this fear has been very real.  I haven’t felt right lately.  I’ve been in a bad funk.  I’ve been going through all the motions and putting on my smiling face but something has just been off.  I haven’t felt like myself.  I don’t like living in fear.  I have become all about my weight and that is a part of me but not all of me.  I have felt a huge pressure to be “thin” for everyone else.  I feel like a failure when I struggle daily with eating. My jeans are getting too tight and my shirts aren't fitting anymore. I put so much pressure on myself to look right for the world that I’ve started “hating” eating right and exercising and fearing the scale that I used to embrace.
FEAR does not come from our Heavenly Father.  He wants us to have FAITH and overcome our fears.  I have been praying and pondering a lot what I need to do to get rid of this fear and wondering why I have had this fear.  I have come up with a few ideas.  I love to share my story with others but then I think I am just me, a SAHM with 5 kids barely keeping my head above water, how can I help anyone else? The doubt and the fear sneaks in.  I desperately want to write a book but I fear that no one will want to read it because who am I? I am a no one, right?!  No wrong, I am just as important as everyone else.  I have been putting myself down and making my accomplishment so small when really they are spectacular.  I am Amazing.  I am someone.  I matter!   I have forgotten all of these things and become a bit of a martyr lately.  I need to let my light shine and not be afraid.
I faced my fear this morning.  The dreaded scale was not nearly as scary as I thought it would be.
 006
In order to change you have to have knowledge and you then take that knowledge and move forward with it.  I now have a starting point to begin with.  With how tight my jeans and shirts had become I had FEARED that the scale would read 215 or more.  I am not too far from my NEVER WEIGH AGAIN number of 200.  I have not failed because I am still TRYING.
  I CAN DO THIS HARD THING.
  I won’t be a part of the majority of people who lose weight then regain it all.
In searching for inspiration to face this FEAR I found some amazing quotes out on the web.  Here are a few of my favorites.  This first one really spoke to my heart and brought me to tears.
 fear
Some other quotes that I feel fit my situation are:
FEAR QUOTE3
fear2
yoga fear quote ami fox facebookfearimages

6 comments:

  1. You ARE amazing, Becky. You are exceptional and brilliant...and a tremendous inspiration.

    Each quote you have chosen in this post is perfect and probably speaks to every one of your readers (they certainly speak to me!).

    Thanks for pushing past your fear today and sharing yourself with all of us :)

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    1. Thanks so much. Life just gets so hard sometimes and we just have to stop and re-evaluate things and why we are doing what we are doing. You too are amazing. I am just so looking forward to warmer weather so I can get back outside on my bike and also get running in the fresh air. I have been lacking motivation and hope to find it soon!

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  2. Oh Miss Becky, I really do love you! Ahhhh I want to give you a hug, and go for a walk together. I am pretty sure I have written these words if not in real life then some where on my heart. Our best quality is that we just don't give up. That is how we finish races and hard things we just don't EVER EVER EVER give up.

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    1. I won't ever give up and I know you won't either!!!

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  3. One of the most wonderful things about this post is how real you are in it. It is hard to see a friend struggle but at the same I realize that I am not alone when I have struggles. When I am fearful of what the scale will say I now know I am not alone others feel the same. I often have to remind myself that I am doing this for ME first and that I am better than this.... You are amazing and have been such an inspiration to me as I have travelled on this crazy journey of weight loss. When I have a bad day and feeling down about not feeling like I am where I should be
    I know because of your post's that I am not the only one and that knowledge helps me to keep going. If she can do it, even with all the struggles, the up's the down's, so can I. I know I do not need to be perfect just real. Thank you! xoxoxox

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    1. This is real life. Sadly there are ups and downs and sometimes very low downs. We just have to do our best. You are doing great! Thanks for your kind words of support!

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