I haven't been on the scale since my birthday a month ago. I have been focusing on training for the half marathon and under a huge amount of stress with so many “things” going on in a very short window of time. With stress comes overeating and bad food choices. Yep, I haven’t mastered that lately. Actually to be completely honest I will have 2 good days a week eating and the rest I fail miserably. Well, the scale doesn’t lie and so yes it was up, way up (6.5 lbs) as I had suspected. I am trying really hard not to beat myself up but I am human. I know what to do and how to do it. For heaven sakes I at one point had lost 2 15 lbs. Now I am sad that I have let some of those pounds come back.
I WILL NOT BE MORBIDLY OBESE AGAIN!!!! I CAN’T LET THAT HAPPEN!!!
Okay, now to move on and get my eating back on track. I don’t have a healthy relationship with food and so I really need to remove myself from the food. That may not sound right but I am eating again just because the food is there. I am not hungry but I eat till it’s gone. Sadly I am starting at square one AGAIN. I need to have more faith that I can do this. I know my Heavenly Father and Savior are there for me, I just have to do my part 100%. I feel at peace that this is my trial right now for me to conquer and I will come out victorious.
We read this scripture in our family scripture study a couple nights ago and I know what is written here is true. I must pray in faith and I will be given the strength I need to overcome my afflictions.
Alma 31:38
38 And the Lord provided for them that they should hunger not, neither should they thirst; yea, and he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ. Now this was according to the prayer of Alma; and this because he prayed in faith.
I can do this and I will
and
so can you.
I am posting a very sweet facebook comment from a dear friend of mine so that I can come back and read it whenever I need the reminder in the future.
Don't let the scale define you. You are strong and lovely. You can run half marathons! You take care of kids and spend time with your husband and family. You devote time to church callings, your spirituality and serving others. No one is perfect, and that scale is always going to read different numbers. Remember you are a beautiful and cherishes daughter of God and you are doing your best. Love you, friend. (Katrina Jackson)
I love you, Becky. You are such an amazing and strong woman. I'm not sure if this is something that would appeal to you and I don't know if it's used in the context of food issues, but I know of many, many people who have been helped by a therapy called EMDR. My daughter had great success with it for her set of issues. I'm about to start it myself and I'll let you know how it goes.
ReplyDeleteI got a little teary-eyed that you posted my comment here. I meant every word and I hope you believe it. I'm sure you're frustrated, but like you said, you have the knowledge and power to get you where you want to go. I'm sure you can, especially with the help of our Heavenly Father. Now, I'm going to go bookmark that scripture so I can refer to it when I'm struggling. :)
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