Thursday, February 17, 2011

I’m Struggling

I am having a hard time with this recovery thing.  I want to exercise so badly!!! I have walked, tried running and worked out on the elliptical.  I even enjoyed the gorgeous warm weather yesterday with a bike ride but whenever I exert myself I end up sore the next day in my stomach which means it was too much. Right!?  So the next day I stress over hurting myself and eat too much because I’m worrying about what I might have done to my insides by working out.  I have done this now for 2 weeks.  I just can’t NOT do any exercise.  I start out with a nice walk (which is okay without discomfort) then I think I can jog a little and then how about just run one mile.  The surgeon told me it’s okay to to run or any other cardio as long as it doesn’t strain my stomach.  The problem is everything pretty much in some way uses those muscles. So even though the surgeon says it’s okay I feel it the next day. So am I causing damage to my body or is the soreness from not exercising regularly? What do you think?

I want to sweat and drip again! 

My weight is still up 10 pounds and my tummy is flabby again.  It is crazy how 2 weeks without 500 crunches and 100 pushups a night can cause your stomach to fall apart so quickly.  I know I need to relax and just recover but the scale goes up, up, up!  AGGGGHHHH! 

I read 2 articles from October’s General Conference on Agency this morning and how we of course have the ability to choose for ourselves and with every choice there is a consequence for good or bad.  I just feel like I am making more wrong choices with my health lately.  One day I’ll eat real well then the next my self control is out the window.  I just can’t wait for my strong healthy body to return but the next month is going to be tough taking it easy.  Boy I am stubborn!  I pray that I’ll have the strength and determination once my body is healed to get fully back into my old routine. There must be a lesson my Heavenly Father is trying to teach me in all of this.  I need to learn it quickly so I can move on.  Oh to be whole again!!! (Thanks for being my listening ear.  The tears are now starting to flow, I didn’t realize how emotional this recovery was going to be.  It has made me realize how much I need to rely on my Savior for strength and comfort.)

3 comments:

  1. I would guess that soreness is going to be a normal part of healing from surgery. Have you checked with your doc about your specific concerns? That might help :) It is time to silence those voices in your head! You HAVE the strength and determination now! You needn't wait until you are healed. Can you pre-prep some healthful snacks as a go-to when you get bored or hungry? Cut up fresh raw or steamed veggies and just have them on hand? Or rice cakes? If you aren't eating any crackers or chips, rice cakes start to taste kind of good :) Throw a little smear of almond butter on it... Remember that you do have to eat... work to make sure the things on hand are good for you. As you remember, those things are actually much more satisfying! Not saying it's easy... just saying that YOU, Becky, CAN do this! I think getting stuff that is good for you all set up will help so much. Then it'll just be automatic :)

    (((HUGS))))

    Biking requires your core to engage to balance... that will make you sore post-op ( I just remembered that!). And walking IS good exercise!

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  2. Becky - let me introduce myself - my name is Patricia, and I came across your blog through a friend of mine - Barb - we both live here in Cardston, and we have both lost over 100 pounds doing the lifestyle program. I am heading into a major surgery next week, and I am worried about the post op stuff, so I am really appreciating your blog right now - it is helping me to know what to expect! I know everyone is different, but thanks for sharing your experience. I have very similar worries with not being able to exercise and weight gain and all that stuff - so after all that, I guess I am just saying THANK YOU - and keep telling us how you are feeling - good luck and get well soon.

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  3. Becky, sweetheart, I am so sorry, and I wish had some profound wisdom. I just keep thinking in my head 80-20 rule. I think weight loss comes down to 80% food choices, 20% exercise. So think of it with your 10 pounds as 8 of those pounds will be from food choices and 2 of those pounds will be from exercise. Also what helps me is remember there is a space between stimulus and response. ie reaching for the food and actually putting it in your mouth there is some time, so stop and think why is this food in my hand am I physically hungry or emotional? Anyway those things help me sometimes. Always remember that everything is a choice, and you really are still making better choices than you did three years ago!! There is a time and season for all things, this is just a season, you have change your lifestyle, and the time for wonderful exercise will come again. Love ya from far away!

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